I’m preparing for an eventual rejection on my latest novel (not because there’s been any indications of that, but because I want to be prepared for the worst, just in case), and so I’m working on a query letter for it. However, I have very little experience with those little beasties, and so I’d like your help with it. The following is an EXTREMELY rough draft. Any and all comments are most welcome. Thanks in advance!
Dear INSERT EDITOR/AGENT’S NAME HERE,
When you get down to it, it wasn’t Parker’s fault. After all, what self respecting, movie loving, field hockey goddess worshipping fast food worker would believe it if Marlon Brando walked into his McDonald’s and told him he had to defeat a zombie horde? All right, so it wasn’t Marlon Brando–just a guy who happened to look like him. That doesn’t make it any more believable. (Although I’ll grant you that if it really had been Brando making that request, Parker shouldn’t have refused. That’s like Rule Number One of Offer-Making.)
But I digress.
It wasn’t Parker’s fault, and so you have to hand it to him: he did a pretty smash bang job with what he had to work with. Sure, it took him a bit to catch on to what was really happening, and yes–he had a bit of help from that field hockey goddess. And okay, so he got a magic trinket or two from the Marlon Brando wannabe. But if you start pointing out that he almost screwed everything up by falling for the evil prophetess who was leading the horde, stop right there. Evil prophetesses are supposed to be ugly. You turn into a hormonal sixteen year old and then try resisting the wiles of Sex Incarnate. That’s a superhuman feat right there, but he managed to pull it off, somehow.
(Of course, some of that depends on how you define "pull it off." As long as you mean "less than 100 people died, a theme park was only partially destroyed and a high school simply traumatized instead of wiped off the map," then yes–Parker pulled it off. If you expected less damage than that, then you really ought to reevaluate your expectations of 16 year old protagonists facing down world-destroying armies of the undead.)
PAWN OF THE DEAD is a 65,000 word young adult, urban fantasy novel. I’m happy to provide a complete manuscript for your review. Thank you for your time.